Ax the Ax Men, Please!

Please, put me out of my misery. It's bad enough that The History Channel decided to create a show about loggers, and now my husband totally thinks he's a rock star. (Look, honey, I do that. Did you see that? Oh, I can do it way better than that......and on, and on, and on) Seriously, the dramatization of logging on Ax Men is over the top! As a logger wife for nearly 10 years, I think I know a little bit about it. For example, the last time I and my 3 kids were up before dawn, dressed, and cheery eyed, to make my husband's coffee, kiss him goodbye, and wish him well at work, was.....well......let me think.......NEVER! Someone should tell those wives that they now make coffee makers with automatic timers, and no one wants to kiss you with morning breath, anyways.

I can't even stand to be in the same room when Monte watches Ax Men, and since we have TiVo, he never misses an episode. (Well, unless it mysteriously disappears from the list because it was "automatically" deleted. Darn that TiVo, anyways.) First of all, there are more "bleeps" than actual dialog. And yes, for the most part, that's how they talk. That part, at least, is realistic, but seriously annoying to listen to. Furthermore, everything is a tragedy. A storm's on the way, the market slumps, Leland hurts his back, and on, and on, and on. Somebody should have told me Monte's job was so exciting, because in all this time, I never realized it was the stuff soap operas are made of.

What isn't realistic is how the focus is on the danger of the job. Of course, it isn't the safest job in the world. We know this all too well. But phuleeeeeeeeze, spare me the drama. If we focused on it as much as they do on the show, we'd all be insane. For example, just after kissing his wife goodbye (who is fully dressed and smiling before dawn-yeah, right), one of the loggers describes how dangerous driving to work is. The way the scenes are cut make it seem as if the driving is as dangerous as the job itself. The scene implies that the loggers could be killed on the road to work at any moment.
In every episode I've been forced to watch, every other statement is about how "risky" and "dangerous" the job is, as if that's all there is to it. Sure, that's part of it. But come on, just driving to work??? Maybe after he purchases one of those fancy automatic coffee makers, this guy could go out and get himself a CB radio. Granted, logging roads are not for the weak at heart. Still, I venture out on them from time to time during the Summer, and the closest I've ever come to death was when one of the bosses didn't hear me on the CB because he was busy listening to the Bob and Tom radio show.

For once, I'm advocating more documentary, less drama. Actually, I'm begging. My sanity depends on it. (Unless our TiVo malfunctions, which could be arranged)