Yep, that's right, I've finally found the secret to fast weight loss. Here it is:
1. Have your dentist pull your lower wisdom tooth, even though you developed a serious and painful case of dry socket from the last one.
2. Go home and await the arrival of symptoms, characterized by serious mouth pain and possible swealing. Soon you'll be unable to eat anything!
3. Sit back and watch as the pounds melt away, up to 1 lb/day!!!
That's all there is to it. It worked for me, and it can work for you too! 5 lbs in 5 days and still counting!
Showing posts with label dentist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dentist. Show all posts
Friday, August 15, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Benefits of Dental Surgery
I know what you're thinking. How could there possibly any benefits to having oral surgery, besides fixing the problem that requires surgery in the first place, right? Well, since I have to have just such a surgery next month, I have been thinking long and hard on it. Here is what I can come up with:
1. A 1 week liquid diet isn't so bad. I can't help but lose a few pounds, and what can be more fun than doing it while ingesting nothing but iced mochas?
2. One surgery equals no less than 3 trips to the surgeon. One for the actual surgery, and 2 follow ups. That equals 3 trips to Lewiston with no kids in the car, because not even I am crazy enough the take my kids to the periodontist. What's so big about 3 trips with no kids? Well, that means 6 blissful hours in the car without 2 movies players going simultaneously, without stopping at McDonalds, without having the child lock the windows, without the risk of a Spiderman Sandal hitting me in the back of the head, without the chaos of continual fighting, and without potty breaks. I might even make it home without any new messes in the car, such as the pb&j smeared into the back seat right now, or the smiley face on the window that only appears when it's foggy. I can even dare to drive all the way without the window lock on! Oh the thrill! What more can a mother ask for?
3. Surgery gives me a pity card to play with potential baby sitters. That should be good for at least a couple weeks or more!
So, that's all I can think of for now. At least there's some silver lining in an otherwise unpleasent experience, sort of.
1. A 1 week liquid diet isn't so bad. I can't help but lose a few pounds, and what can be more fun than doing it while ingesting nothing but iced mochas?
2. One surgery equals no less than 3 trips to the surgeon. One for the actual surgery, and 2 follow ups. That equals 3 trips to Lewiston with no kids in the car, because not even I am crazy enough the take my kids to the periodontist. What's so big about 3 trips with no kids? Well, that means 6 blissful hours in the car without 2 movies players going simultaneously, without stopping at McDonalds, without having the child lock the windows, without the risk of a Spiderman Sandal hitting me in the back of the head, without the chaos of continual fighting, and without potty breaks. I might even make it home without any new messes in the car, such as the pb&j smeared into the back seat right now, or the smiley face on the window that only appears when it's foggy. I can even dare to drive all the way without the window lock on! Oh the thrill! What more can a mother ask for?
3. Surgery gives me a pity card to play with potential baby sitters. That should be good for at least a couple weeks or more!
So, that's all I can think of for now. At least there's some silver lining in an otherwise unpleasent experience, sort of.
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