Relaxing? I Think Not!

Yesterday, I unexpectedly had the afternoon off thanks to my mom. So, I decided to hurry over to Moscow and finish up some last minute things before I leave next week. First stop on the list was a pedicure for my poor, tired feet. They are now beautiful and soft, with bright pink toe nails. Hopefully this will last longer than a few days!
The next stop was the tanning bed, in a last-ditch effort to prevent serious vacation sun burn. I have never tanned before. In fact, I wear 30 spf on my face every day to prevent wrinkles and sun damage. I'm a "burner", not a "tanner," and I prefer to keep my skin young and healthy as long as possible. However, every one has their price, and mine happens to be a sunny beach vacation.
The lady that did my pedicure told me that tanning was very relaxing. I must say, so far I disagree.
First, there was a big, very bright, neon pink piece of card stock at the front counter with the message "NEW BULBS! Be cautious, or you'll be this color!" So, already I'm a little freaked because I have the complexion of Snow White, and it's been a long, cold, sunless Winter.
The girl at the counter suggested I go with 5 minutes, saying "We've had people burning at 5 or 6 minutes before." This I do not find comforting! Then, I'm directed into the tanning booth, which is in a row of about 10 booths strung together. The door has slats in it (non see-thru), and the walls don't go clear to the floor or the ceiling. There is no lock on the inside, so I can only assume that it locks automatically once shut. So, I am still not assured or relaxed.
Since I will not be using the nude beach on vacation, I've brought my swim top along. I do not relish the thought of being walked in on naked at the tanning bed, or the thought of a sun burned chest. I press the button and lay down, trying to relax. However, every noise and every sound of a door being opened gives me the urge to look up and make sure it's not the door to my booth being opened. In the short 5 minutes, I find it impossible to relax, and my toes are not even warm when the lights go off.
When I left, I felt nothing. I am finding it sort of creepy and eerie that only 5 or 6 hours later I felt like I spent a few hours in the hot sun. As I quilted last night, my back began to feel warm, and when I went to change into pajamas, I was startled to find that my abdomen and back matched my toe nails. I even have a perfect white imprint of the tie on the back of my bikini top.
Thankfully, I am much less colorful this morning, with no soreness. I might make it back to the tanning bed before Tuesday after all. And maybe next time, I'll forget my top, because that line across my back is not so attractive. I might even be able to relax a little more. If I'm lucky, I might retain a hint of color by the time I leave for Jamaica!